please welcome to the stage america's burden
  1. thief: welcome to the thieves guild, rookie
  2. new thief: i can't wait to learn the deep, hidden secrets of this city and find new ones of my own
  3. thief: ahahahaha, yeah, sure
  4. thief: okay so lesson one
  5. thief: the self-checkout machine can't tell if you're lying about ringing up organic bananas as regular bananas
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